Carnival season is over—but don’t expect the plethora of dirty quotes, coffee n’ cigarette portraits or videos about pussy that normally clog your social media feeds this time of year. You see, once the carnies packed up the Ferris wheel and merry-go-round in Trumansburg, Scotty packed up his Mötley Crüe CDs and Skoal canisters n’ headed for Colorado, where he’ll be living with his brother for the next year…maybe longer.
I saw him during his stint at the Steuben County fair, where he handed me a urine scented potato sack and let me go down the giant slide for free. Also, in the span of a minute and forty seconds, he assured me of the following key points: 1) He hasn’t gotten any pussy on the road yet. 2) He’d “fucked a new woman every night.” 3) His boss doesn’t let him have sex anymore. 4) His boss always lets him have sex in his truck.
I miss him already.
If you ever find yourself in need of a Scotty fix, dig through the archives at www.anewlow.net where he dances and sings his way through an original carnie Christmas song; gives thorough tutorials on sex, fighting and smoking cigarettes…and much, much more. 🚬👨